Super Heroes #1 - Bad and Breakfast!

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Look!

Up in the sky!

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… A gang of ne’er-do-wells on segways?!

Yes, folks, the whole town’s gone to pot in Minneapolis, the gleaming jewel of the continental north. Fortunately for the nearly 400,000 midwestern souls, heroes have arisen to challenge the growing shadow of Evil.

Going up against the likes of the blood-thirsty baddy, Major Mosquito, the Frozen Four keep the streets clean of diabolical masterminds and psychotic villains alike. Great Lake Jake, Iron Range, Altostratus, and Frozen Scott Fitzgerald watch over the frosty peaks of the downtown skyscrapers, but our tale begins on a somewhat smaller scale...

On the opposite bank of the mighty Mississippi, a new crop of caped and uncaped crusaders are putting down roots in the vegetable garden of Justice! No purse-snatcher or flamboyantly-themed-costume-wearing street punk is safe from their slightly clammy grip.

Four names to soon be on the lips of every citizen: Patient Hero, Augustina, The Secret Secreeter, and Mama J!

Come join our unlikely heroes on their journey to become mildly-likely heroes, and find out what daring and disgusting feats await them in:

SUPERHEROES: 

Bad & Breakfast

DMN #2 - A Very Sensual DMN

I have often pondered the tenuous nature of life. The frailty existent in all of us, and the courage it takes to accept death unabashed. There are cultures who revere death, and cultures who fear death, but death is present in all of them. It is present in everything. The period at the end of every sentence.

Some have brought such a termination upon another. Yet none know what it is to be the reaper whose every instant is an ending. How then, does Death view life?

Or death?

But seriously, folks, it’s hard out there. And far be it from me to go about making it harder. Near death experiences bring out a lot of emotions, and in an effort to deal with those, I’ve taken it upon myself to make amends for trying to kill the whole party… DMN presents to you:

Some Sensual Master Nation

Love,

David

Kain Campaign #2 - Near Death XP

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Hark!

What’s that noise?! A whisper on the wind? Perhaps some ghostly presence providing an early warning of impending perils? Maybe even a plot hook carefully crafted and placed into the narrative by the DM?

Who cares! Let’s go dungeon crawling!

Episode 2 of our frigid fable known as the Kain Campaign begins with a whisper and ends with a roar. It’s kind of like March, if the blustery month also tried to crush your squishy body under collapsing cave ceilings.

Suffice to say that this episode contains a handsome serving of humble pie for our adventurers. Let’s face it; Lo’Kron, Arkmenos, Dapperton, and Window are all pretty full of themselves. But after several hidden traps, short sword slashes, and fish-based blasting caps, they instead find themselves full of holes where blood used to be.

David the DM even experiences a brief moment of pity for our plucky quartet before regaining his senses and plunging the party further down the completely metaphorical flaming-staircase of adventure.

So grab your half-eaten jerky, set your tricorn hat ablaze, and jump trashbag first into Episode 2 of the Kain Campaign!

Kain Campaign #1 - A Dark & Trashy Night!

A dark and stormy night holds the village of Undercurrent in its shadowed embrace, and four travelers seek shelter in the Bearded Hawk Tavern.

Think you've heard this one before? Think again! Think once more! Yet another time!

That's probably enough. 

Anyway, these are not your average adventurers:

Lo'Kron - Hermit of the Snow Druid Circle: this clover-craving crackpot searches the snowy wastes for his three-leafed friends but finds daring-do instead!

Arkmenos - Those who meet him never truly know him. Primarily because this fast-talking charlatan isn't really sure who he is anymore; possessing enough multiple-personalities to be an army onto himself.

Dapperton von Scalyskin - Heir to a family fortune of blood and beatings, this barbarian still manages to maintain his foppish facade while battling, and never goes anywhere without his retinue (mostly because he'd murder them if they tried to leave).

Window - A humble trash pile caught in the middle of a wizardly duel, this rapscallion of refuse awoke to find itself fully sentient and was quick to make a pact with the Wind Spirit, giving mobility to its moldy mass. Now ready to take on the world, Window is learning the ups and downs of life amongst the living and making new friends along the way!

Together they are... well, a mess, honestly. But it's a jolly ride to death and destruction as these brave four seek the first thread of a continent spanning, salmon-soaked mystery in Episode 1 of The Kain Campaign!

Dungeon Master Nation Episode 1

Blackness. Silence.

As your eyes flutter open, you find yourself in a small, rectangular room lit with faint red light. The ground upon which you lie is covered by an unrecognizable animal fur: shaggy and speckled walnut. You pull yourself up to sit, seeing the light's source in one corner of the room. A small brazier of peculiar shape, shaded by a cylinder of reddish cloth creates the wine-colored glow that casts shadows upon the smooth white walls. You do not hear the familiar crackling of the embers inside the brazier, but instead a low hum from the unknown source within.

Along the far wall sits a desk; a disgusting amalgamation of wrought-aluminum and unidentifiable, light-weight timber. Upon the desk stands a glowing tablet across which dance beautiful pictures and foreign scripts, the likes of which you've only seen in dreams. The shapes appear to move in cadence with your steps, and you realize that a bulbous instrument atop a stubby tripod listens for any disturbances in the room.

In the face of these beautiful yet bewildering discoveries, you had almost neglected to see the tome resting at the corner of the desk. A finely bound volume, whose high-gloss cover shines bright with reflections. If the tablet's imagery seemed strange, the writing upon the book proves more bewildering still. 

"Player's Handbook?" "Dungeons & Dragons?" "FIFTH EDITION?!"

Well, if you've read this far, that means you're probably a dungeon master, and boy do we have a treat for you! In the first episode of our DM/GM-centric series, Patrick and David examine the fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons and tackle the hard questions of "What makes barbarians so angry?", "Where did all those expertise dice go?", and "Does cake-baking ability directly correlate to combat prowess?"